What is love? Well, I asked myself that question often when I was a little girl. My mom said she loved me but never gave me much affection, my dad said he loved my mom but often drank and yelled obscenities at her. Was that love? As I grew into my teenage and rebellious years, that question still lingered unanswered. I attempted to find that much needed answer in strangers I met and to no avail.
It wasn’t until I was almost 22 years old that I found the answer I longed to find all this time. It was then that I found love in my Savior, in my Messiah, in my Almighty. Finally, the gaping hole I had felt in my heart all my life was filled. It was then, through His unwavering love, that I understood.
I understood that what my mother showed me was indeed love, in her own way, but love nonetheless. She showed me love in the only way she knew how: buying me things, making sure that I had shelter and was taken care of. She didn’t know any other type of love. She didn’t know or realize how to love me the way I needed it. That is because she did not know what it felt like to be loved, truly loved as only the Almighty can love. Now I understand why she was incapable of showing me love the way that I needed it. How could she give me what she didn’t have? How could she fill my hole when she had her own?
It is my duty now, as a Christian, to show her the way. To show her all that love that she has also been missing for so long. It is my turn to shelter her spirit and take care of her. It is my turn to help her fill the void in her heart.